As a central organizing institution in society, marriage presents an idealized package for sociosexual relations that reproduces and intertwines gender power dynamics and heterosexual desire. This package is sustained, in part, by the ideology of romantic love—a set of beliefs that constructs only a particular configuration of sexual and gender practices as natural, normal, and right. Drawing on interviews with 45 people, this study examines how people negotiate marital relationships that do not fit into this normative configuration— mixed-orientation marriages. Participants' (...) resolutions to these situations, whether they divorced or created asexual or sexual nonmonogamous marriages, were heavily shaped by their belief in the ideology of romantic love, illustrating how heteronormative relations can be held in place by normalizing ideologies. (shrink)

The gender order is subject to challenge and change, particularly when situations arise in which existing inequalities become apparent and therefore must be managed. This study examines one such situation by analyzing how conservative Christian women, who were married to gay men, negotiated feminine identities in marital situations that challenged the legitimacy of traditional gender ideologies and practices. To investigate how these women coped, in-depth interviews were conducted with 15 participants of Christian support groups for wives of homosexual men. Through (...) support group participation, these wives learned two key strategies, redefining homosexuality and submitting to God, to transform the meanings and emotional experiences associated with their marital situations. An analysis of the use and the consequences of these strategies shows how they empowered the wives to positively redefine their marriages and themselves while justifying the existing pattern of gender relations. (shrink)