In this paper we discuss differing discourses of research ethics committees and the clinical research field. Reflections on our experience of conducting research in a nursing home are used to highlight the tensions and inconsistencies that arise from these discourses and the need to behave ethically in the field. While accepting the need for adherence to guiding principles of duty based ethics, we have found that practical moral decisions in the field required that, as individual researchers, we needed to exercise (...) discretionary judgement, informed by the ethic of care and the concern for the well‐being of research participants. (shrink)