Abstract

How do we approach our deaths? By avoidance, for one thing—death, especially our own death, is hard to talk about, think about, even imagine in the dimmest way. Or we dwell on it, that black, feared vortex that will eventually engulf us, swallowing our identity and personhood. Mostly, we distract ourselves with things of the moment. But in our rational moments we make preparations. We write advance directives. We execute durable powers of attorney. We give instructions to loved ones: “No tubes, no machines.” That's the wrong approach, I think. All this stuff we put together doesn't guarantee that what we say we want will actually happen or that we'll have what we'd call a “good death”—what you would think of as a good death for you.