This paper explores violence in intimate relationships in one low-income community in the Western Cape, South Africa. In this community most intimate relationships (including parentchild, intimate partner relationships and friendships) seem to be characterized by anger, rage and also violence. In our analysis we discuss how the concepts of shame, guilt and the compulsion to repeat can serve to illuminate the seemingly inevitable link between violence and care in this specific community. It also seems that contextual factors such as class, (...) gender and race shape not only the form violence assumes, but also to whom it is directed. While we pay attention to the material and ideological conditions that shape the lives of individual storytellers, we also focus on the ways in which violence is represented in the individual stories. (shrink)