Abstract

The article highlights the relationship between forgiveness, relation and love. It is divided in three sections: an experience of forgiveness which took place in Burundi in the ‘90s, an outline of the culture of that country and some theories about forgiveness in the psychological field. The giving of forgiveness is not immediate, but when the victim is able to grant it, he becomes a subject with the power to release himself from a oppressor-oppressed relationship, wherein, if he doesn’t forgive, he might be trapped. Without a victim, there is no offender, even although the guilt and the crime remain as such. By forgiving, conflict between victim/offender is overcome and the two parts enter into a relationship with each other. In a relationship, every time we connect with the other and we recognize him, we enter into a relationship with him and this recognition becomes a gift. At this point for-give-ness itself becomes a gift, because it has as it’s centre a gift, it becomes a relationship of love where I am able to recognize the other for what he really is.