You Have to Be Two to Start: Rational Thoughts About Love

Constructivist Foundations 2 (1):1-5 (2006)

Excerpt: Love – as Ovid pointed out long ago – is an art. It has to be constantly created and requires persistent vigilance, care, and thoughtfulness. This is very clear from a constructivist point of view. The partner is always what we experience of him or her. We have abstracted him or her from our own experiences and therefore he or she is our construction and not, for example, a thing in itself which exists independently from us. And it is this person who has been constructed by us, who has been credited with a past by us, who stirs up expectations in us. If these expectations are not met, we are disappointed and tend to blame the other person. We forget that actually we alone are responsible for how we think of our partner because how she or he acts and speaks can always be interpreted in a variety of different ways.
Keywords love  relationship  others  intersubjectivity
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